The Great Snail Purse Hunt: 2009

Oh lord, what a crazy 14 hours we have just spent...

Last night, I returned home from a home visit. Little A was asleep, and we worked on Sassy's bedtime routine. Pajamas... check. Teeth brushing... check. Stories... check. Hugs & kisses... check. Bed tucking... check. And, good night.

Tyler and I sluggishly meandered over to our bedroom to begin putting away the heap of clean clothing on our bed. The next ten minutes went a little something like this: fold, hang, fold, hang, fold, fold, get distracted, fold, hang, hang, hang, get distracted, fold, fold... you get the idea.

Suddenly, Tyler stops what he is doing and stoops at the corner of the bed to pick something up. As he does so, he looks at me quizzically. I wasn't sure what to think.

As I closed in on him, I realize he has my wedding ring in his hand. Weird. I perform a little mental replay of my day and realize that I hadn't put my rings on all day. So, I run to both of the spots they could be- my jewelry tray on top of my dresser or the bathroom sink. Place A- the ideal place for my jewelry. Place B- the home to my jewelry 85% of the time.

No sign of jewelry in either place. Panic begins to set in. I know I wore my rings Saturday night when we went out for my friend Renee's birthday. I know I wore my engagement ring, my wedding ring, and my grandmother's antique cocktail ring. I remember looking down at it several timed during dinner...

Knowing myself all too well, I know the likelihood that I ran to the bathroom to strip out of cute clothes and select undergarments, remove all my jewelry, and wash the make up off of my face was high. I searched the bathroom- counter top, sinks, drains, drawers, makeup cases, cabinets, trash can... you name it. Nothing.

Next, we strip the bed. Shake out all of the clothes. Rattle the pillows, fluff the blankets... waiting for something to drop. We tear apart the bed, move it out from against the wall to search the perimeter. Nothing.

I sweep the kitchen and dining room to see if I had taken the rings off and set them somewhere unusual. I'm having horrible flashbacks of when I removed my engagement ring at work once, shortly after Tyler proposed. I was working as an athletic trainer back in my former life, and I had likely taken them off to do a Flexall 454 DTM or something. I hadn't realized the lack of ring on my finger until the evening, and went back the next day to find my brand new, sparkling diamond ring sitting on the treatment table even though 100+ college football players had been in and out. I felt so lucky!

After searching for a while, Tyler proposed that Sassy was probably playing with the ring on my bed. I had no reason to think that she would have done such a thing. She's never touched my jewelry before.

Then, I started to really think about it. Remember this last week? Then, there is the fact that she recently popped out of my room wearing an old pair of my glasses that she found in a drawer in my bathroom. Hmm... maybe it was possible.

I was so panicked and I couldn't calm myself. Not only was I distraught over the fact that my rings were missing, I was a nervous wreck that Little A would find them and swallow them. When we first started dating, one of Tyler's neighbors' little girl had to have a diamond ring surgically removed after swallowing it. OMG.

I decided that I had to ask Sassy. I went into her bedroom and tried to wake her. She was OUT. Like out-cold-dead-to-the-world-asleep. I finally got her to come to enough to ask her if she had played with my pretties or knew where they were, to which she mumbled no. Fail.

After retracing my actions from Saturday night for the 973rd time, I realized that I had also worn my circle necklace with the girls names on it. I rushed in to see if I could find it. No such luck. Now, I felt a teeny bit better that little A hadn't ingested my loot... it would have been relatively unlikely for her to ingest my grandmother's large cocktail ring, but a necklace was even more unlikely.

I resigned myself to the fact that I could do this all night and come to no better resolution, so it was time to call it a night. I was anxious to talk to Sassy in the morning...

...To Be Continued.