Thursday Morning Funny...

We were sitting at Heather Lane yesterday afternoon, waiting for Tink to get her hair did...

Sassy was flipping through a magazine, and she looked at an advertisement and exclaimed, "Mommy, this sure is a weird looking dog!"



I immediately burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. Or something like that.

Yes, Sassy. That would be a weird looking dog considering it's actually a cat.

I ♥ this girl!

The "Puter"

Sassy has a new obsession. It's her "puter". She loves her puter. If you were to see her play with it the last few days, you would never guess that she has actually owned the thing for about two years now. It sat collecting dust in the basement for quite some time. It's awesome when the re-discover toys!!

Sassy tells me, matter-of-factly, that she has to "do her puter", like it's some kind of official business. If only I had such important matters to attend to all day. Maybe it's a sign of the times, or maybe mommy spends *a little* too much time on her puter. Ah, well...

In other news, it's Friday (in case you didn't already know). Ty has a half day today, and I will be hitting the gym at some point this afternoon. No super exciting plans this weekend- we plan to do some cleaning and laundry... the usual. I do need to start tagging some clothes for a consignment sale I will be participating in. Sunday, we plan to watch the Super Bowl over at Tom and Lynzee's. And cheat on our diet. There, I said it...

I feel like I never talk about Little A here. She is doing great. She is sitting in her BebePod often, and we are working on her balance for actual sitting. She hasn't rolled from her back to her front yet, but she is very close. She is a big time smiler, just like Sassy was. Oh, and her bottom right tooth feels like it is seriously about to cut. She is drooling like it's her job and her poor little gums are so swollen. This is quite a shock to me because Sassy did not cut her first tooth until the week of her first birthday!

Oh, and while I'm on a roll bragging on my kids, Sassy did something pretty awesome last night. She has this Little People A-Z Learning Zoo that Kelli bought her for Christmas a year ago. She has always loved the animals, but never really had much interest in the board.

Each animal has a letter on its chest correlating to its name, and the board has a path with letters and spaces for each animal. So, we were in the basement and Sassy was lining up all the animals. Neither Tyler or I thought much of this- she lines things up all the time. After a while, we took a closer look, and each animal was in its correct spot! She matched the letters! From alligator...bear...camel...dolphin to walrus...x-ray fish...yak...zebra- all of them spot on. I thought that was pretty awesome. Yeah, Sassy!

Bear Feels Sick, and other musings

Oh, Sassy has been on point the last few days! It's really fun to see her creativity and imagination flourish, but she is making me tired!

Yesterday, we were cleaning Little A's nursery, and Sassy found a ginormous teddy bear that was sitting in there. Of course, she had to play with it on the spot. So, she took bear to her room, and we continued to clean. A little while later, Tyler told me that I had to peek in her room and see what she was up to. She had bear lying on the floor, covered in blankets, and she was reading him... none other than Bear Feels Sick.

I asked her what was wrong with bear, and she told me, "his tummies hurt". I love the way she says that instead of 'his tummy hurts'. I will be so sad when she stops saying her quirky little backwards phrases.

Then, all of a sudden, she jumps up with bear and exclaims, "He has to frow up"! I giggled and couldn't wait to see what was to follow. Sassy takes him across the bedroom to the dollhouse, pulls the dollhouse bathtub onto the floor, and positions bear so that he will throw up in the bathtub. It was SO funny. Yes, because we always throw up in the bathtub around here! I am guessing this stems from the last time Sassy was sick. I told her that if she felt like she needed to throw up, we should run to the bathroom.

Another thing we have been doing lots of is "going shoppin". She has a grocery cart and a Cherry Blossom Marketplace in the basement, but she would much rather shop upstairs and "just pweetend". We go to one corner of the room, which is the "Gwocewy store". She instructs me to put imaginary chicken in the imaginary cart. Then she pushes it a few feet and tells me to get some eggs. This goes on for a while...

Then, we go across the bedroom to "Target". She informs me that clothes are on the list to buy. We need to pick out a dress for her, but Little A gets, "pants... and a shirt". So, I play along and point out a pretty dress on the wall, and she grabs it. Well, when it comes time to get Daddy "somefin", I show her a green shirt on the wall that he would just love. She agrees. I suggest that she put it into the cart, but she says, "It's too high. I can't weach". Seriously?!? Well, allow me to retrieve the imaginary article of clothing... by all means!

Lastly, she said something really funny this morning. We were getting ready to go to Sam's Club, and I was getting her to put on her coat. She has several coats, and each one has a different name- winter coat, kitty coat, princess coat, etc. Well, she has a little plaid pea coat, and that is what Tyler and I refer to it as. I was helping her get the pea coat on this morning, and she says to me, "This is my winter coat, mama. This is NOT my peacock coat"! Oh, it was good.

"Our Man"

Sassy loves to sing. Since she was a wee one, she has enjoyed singing and clapping along with mommy and daddy. For a while there, it was all about "Whees onda Bus"... on demand, of course. When Little A came along, it became Sassy's mission in 2-year-old life to sing her songs. It is seriously the cutest stinkin' thing to hear her sing "Twinkew Wittle Star" to her baby sister.

For Christmas, a gift was bestowed upon Little A from the big guy- Santa. She received a Neurosmith Together Tunes Too, a giant musical cube that plays different songs depending on what side faces up. (Don't get frightened by the price if you happen to have checked the link... I bought it at TJ Maxx for exactly 38% of that!) Although it is Little A's toy, Sassy has spent her time well as of late "sharing" it until Little A "gets big".

She insists that the cube be in her room. We battle over this, as the cube inevitably provides way too much distraction around nap time and bedtime. She has mastered Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star (besides her insistence that there is only one "twinkle"). She knows almost every word to Ants Go Marching and the Pufferbelly song (her recent 'fav'). She's really quite good for 2 1/2... if I do say so, myself.

Well, over the past week or so, she has been singing a new song- one that is unfamiliar to me. After a day or so, I gathered that she had learned it at preschool. I would ask her to teach me, and she wouldn't. She is a little shy about her singing... she sings her little heart out when she is in the backseat of the car or in her room by herself, but not so much in front of us when we ask.

I have been listening keenly and trying to decipher the words. I keep hearing her say "thank him" and "our man, our man". Having put the pieces together, I realized that this was a praise song. I enjoyed listening to her for days, thinking how progressive and modern his praise song was, referring to Jesus as "our man".

Then, this morning, as we sat and ate an early lunch, Sassy broke into song. As she's singing the mystery hymn, it dawns on me...

She's trying to say "Amen, Amen" at the conclusion of the song. I about died laughing. I couldn't decide which was funnier- the fact that I thought the worship song she was singing referred to Jesus as a 'homeboy', or the fact that Miss Sassy is ingenuous enough to know no better. Oh, my girl...

Sassy Says, Part II

She's had a couple of good ones over the past few days... let's see if I can remember them all!

Sassy woke up from her rest yesterday in her yellow Tinkerbell nightgown. She almost always requests jammies for her rest (which is kind of a pain in the butt because it's another 2 wardrobe changes for the day, but, whatever...). When she woke up yesterday, she exclaimed, "Look, Mama, my jammies match my movie"! She was astonished!

She went into a complete explanation on the reasons she wanted to wear socks to bed. In one, long, run-on sentence she told me, "I need to wear my socks because my feet feel cold and my socks will make my feet warm and I haf to wear them so that my feet stay warm in my big girl bed under my Tinkerbell blanket and my pink blanket but my Spongebob blanket is in the car". Got it?

Tyler was laying on his back on the bedroom floor and he started to lift Sassy up and throw her around in a playful way. Sassy said, "Daddy, no. I could get hurt. That's not a vewy good idea". HA!

We were at our Marriage For Keeps meeting yesterday, and Angie had a bowl of hershey's kisses on her desk. I hadn't even noticed them, really. Sassy spent the whole visit coloring and minding her own business. When we were getting our coats on to leave, Sassy kept asking for a snack. Tyler and I told her multiple times that we would get one in the car and that we would work on it, etc. I could not figure out why she kept asking. Then, right as we were leaving, she looks over to the bowl and very innocently asks, "What are those, mommy"? We all started cracking up... I mean, come on... It was so funny. In the end, as you can probably guess, she got her hershey's kiss!

Sassy proclaimed, "I have lips, mama". I replied, "Yep. We all have lips". Then she says, "Lips are for kissin. Charlie (the dog) don't haf lips. Charlie has a tongue".

More to come in future installments! ♥

Chutes & Ladders

Sometimes, I think that providing educational experiences for your children is overrated. OK, I don't really mean that. But, seriously, playing a board game with a 2-year-old who thinks she 'knows it all' is kind of like being forced to sit through a condescension-filled lecture from a stuffy professor. Who knew a 2-year-olds could be patronizing?

It all starts with a sweet little question. "Mommy, can you play wif me"? How can I say no to that? "Sure, sweetie, what would you like to do", I ask. Sassy says, "Let's play Chutes and Laddews. Can we, Mommy"? After I concede, Sassy begins to "set up" the board. Not there is really much set-up involved, rather, a clear understanding that only Sassy may touch the pieces until she grants me permission to do so.

Now, there are 4 playing pieces- 2 boys and 2 girls. Sassy is, of course, the little blond girl. Mommy is always relegated to be one of the little boy pieces. Once, I asked, "Can Mommy be the other girl"? "No, Mommy," says Sassy, "You a boy"! OK, then. Once the game begins, Sassy goes first. No problems here. I try to get her to practice counting the spaces, but I am not a board game Nazi. She is two, after all. It's supposed to be fun. Well, for her at least.

Once it is 'my turn', Sassy spins for me. I tried to spin once for myself, and will never go there again for fear of losing a finger or two. It's funny, too. Mommy always magically lands on chutes, while Sassy seems to hit every ladder to aid in her ascension. Weird.

The funniest part is that each chute and ladder has a little illustration depicting the reason for the climb or fall. Each has to do with a behavior. For instance, if you help a cat out of a tree, you get to go up a ladder. If you break a dish, down a chute you go. I made the mistake of explaining this to Sassy once. Now, whenever I land on a chute, it's a lecture from little missy. "You were naughty, Mommy. You ate a cookie and you isn't supposed to." Now, if that doesn't stir-up deep-rooted emotional issues, I don't know what does.

So, Sassy, I do it because I love you. Yes, I will play Chutes & Ladders with you... for the 38th time today. Yes, I will smile and (try) to enjoy myself. I always remind myself that, all too soon, you will not want to play board games with me.. you will think it's lame and have way better things to do. I'd better bask in the glory of these (painstakingly humbling) moments while I still can.

Dragon Kisses...

Sassy and I were cuddling in my bed this afternoon. I asked Sassy for a little kissy, my wish was granted. She asked for a butterfly kiss, we fluttered eyelashes. I asked for an eskimo kiss, our noses rubbed together. She asked for a "dwagon kiss". I asked her what a dragon kiss was. She proceeded to smash her face into mine so fast and with so much force, I thought surely my nose was broken. She thought it was hilarious.

I'd better watch out for those dragon kisses... could be dangerous!

Sassy Says, Part I

These are the things Sassy has already told me this morning:
--"Mommy, my dwagon scared away the monsters yestewday"
--"You need to clean my room... it's messy"
--"I want some pancakes... in a bowl... my don't want sywiup, though"
--"Can I watch Box and the Hound? Can I, can I, can I?"
--"Turn on the lights! It's dark out!" (Meaning the Christmas tree lights... and it's NOT so dark)
--"When Daddy gets home, we'll haf some fun. Can we do somefing fun?"
--"I want a story... the piggie one. Can you tell me a story?"
--"Let's sing a song. How 'bout Twinkle Little Star? Sing, Mommy!"
--"Say Bless you, Mommy. I sneezed."

I am already tired, and it is 9:30. Sassy has been awake approximately 20 minutes. Only 720 to go before bedtime. I wonder what she'll come up with next!

Sassy counts...

She was very enthusiastic about the second round! She reminds me of the owl in the Tootsie Roll Pop ads... "A-one, A-two, A-three..."

She Ate the Yellow One

I picked Sassy up from preschool today, and she insisted on holding her revered artwork in her car seat. The masterpiece consisted of an uppercase and lowercase letter "C" decorated with various foam stickers. It was beautiful and fabulous!

So, we are driving along and I, although I know I shouldn't, was on my phone with Miranda. Now, a couple of things happen when you are on the phone and driving simultaneously. Markedly, the insane ability to drown out any and all ramblings uttered by your two-year-old. Well, almost any and all... Suddenly, I hear Sassy exclaim, "I ate the yellow one!". I stopped mid-sentence and swung my head back, exorcist style. "You WHAT?," I ask. "I ate the yellow one, I ate the yellow one," she replies in song. "I gotta go, Miranda," I say.

Why is it that I cannot find any pertinent information when I google "dangers of ingesting foam stickers"?? Stupid Internet...

--She's Stuck--

She hadn't been awake more than 2 hours on our first morning home, and Sassy managed to get herself into quite the predicament. We were sitting in the basement, the three of us. I was in the recliner feeding Little A and Sassy was up to no good. She was pulling out all her puzzles without intention of reassembling them. She dumped a huge wipes container of crayons (half of them broken) onto the carpet and proceeded to peel the paper off one by one, leaving a trail as she went. She just couldn't find a toy interesting enough to occupy that little brain of hers.

So, she went over by the stairs and stood inside her Parents brand drum. The drum is clear, hard plastic that holds several other musical instruments inside for storage. I told her she was being silly, and she laughed and laughed. She thought it was hilarious that she was standing inside her drum. Then, sooner than any one of us could blink, she managed to sit/slide/squat inside the drum. She was packed in there like a little stink rat. She laughed and said, "I stuck, Mommy". I said, "You're a silly goose. Stand up and come over by Mommy." She said, "I can't Mommy, I stuck." She really didn't budge.

I set Little A down and went over to do some investigating. Yeah, she was stuck. Like... stuck. I lifted her by the hands and the entire drum unit left the ground. I tried to hold down her knees and get her back to straighten out. Nope. She was wedged in there. Plus, she had her little legs crossed, so she didn't even have the leg strength to push off and try to get up that much. After a few moments of this, I started to get a little panicky. I mean, seriously, I couldn't get her out of the darned thing. I told her to sit still (...as if she had an option) and I ran to get the phone and call Tyler. Of course, he thought it was HI-LARIOUS. I began to find the humor in the situation a little, especially because Sassy remained completely calm. I told her to talk to Daddy and tell him what she did. Here are some shots of her stuck in the drum and on the phone with Ty:

Finally, he talked me through how to geometrically, 'engineerically' remove her from the drum and with a twist, turn, and pop, she was out. By this time, Sassy was a little upset and all she wanted from Mommy was to, "hold you". So, after some holding, cuddling, hugs, and kisses, she decided it would be best to point out her battle wounds to myself and the camera:

My personal guess is that she won't be attempting to sit in her drum any longer. That's not to say that the drawer of her dresser or the bin in her toy box or the little space under the couch won't somehow appeal to her...

Sassy Pants...

Oh, Sassy has been cracking me up the last few days. I swear, I never realized how funny little kids can be. Of course, I am partial, but seriously... she makes us laugh. A lot! Her new thing is harumph-ing (is that a word?) whenever we ask her to do anything. Like, we ask so much of her, you know? She will roll her eyes (literally) and make comments. This morning, I said we had to get up and get ready for preschool and she replied, "I haf to go to pweschool ewery daaaaaay!" Hard life, I know. And, no, you do not go to preschool "ewery" day.

The other thing is when I ask her to try and use the potty, it's always "I went"... as in this morning, before school, 6 hours ago?!? We were at Lynzee's house, and I said that she had to try to go on the potty before we got in the car and she said, "I went potty yesterday, mama!" Oh, well, in that case...

Wow, after reading this back to myself, maybe it's only 95% funny and 5% concerning to me. She does know how to talk back!

Chicken Boy

OK, so seriously, Sassy said the funniest thing this morning. Tyler, Sassy, and I were in Little A's nursery putting away laundry. Ty took Sassy to the potty, and I guess he made her mad for some reason. So, she told him in a very firm, stern voice, "You a chicken boy, Daddy"! Ty immediately cracked up, which made her even more mad. Then she yelled, "You a CHICKEN BOY"!! I thought I was going to die. Where on earth does she come up with this stuff??

Little Tink...

Sassy has been quite obsessed with Tinkerbell as of late. She has always fancied her, and her Tinkerbell nightgowns are among her favorites. But, now, since the new Disney movie is coming out next week, Tinkerbell is everywhere. On everything. You know how it goes.

Sassy wants to wear her Tinkerbell panties constantly. I try to explain to her that only 3 out of her 476 pairs of panties have Tinkerbell on them, but of course, that doesn't matter in the least. She says the name so cute, too. Comes out something like "Tink-oo-baaeeeell". Sort of the same inflection as many of you have heard with "Cind-oo-ELLLAAAAH".

So, she wanted to wear her Tinkerbell sweatshirt today. I put her hair up, we went outside, and I realized... she looks like her. I have my very own little Tink...

...and she's just as imp-ish, too.

The "Fglaminkos"

We went to the Z-O-O today, which was great! One of Sassy's little friends had his third birthday party there this afternoon, and afterwards, we took the opportunity to walk around and see all the "aminals", as Sassy would say.

Every night before bed, we have a ritual where we get hugs & kisses, and talk about what fun things we are going to do the next day. Well, Sassy has it down to a science. We cannot skip a bedtime step, oh no. So, she always says "Do somefin fun tomowow" and then we discuss. So, last night, I told her about the party and the zoo, and she was SO excited. I about thought it was going to backfire on me because she was SO stimulated by our talk, I thought she may never go to bed. Anyway, I asked her what she wanted to see at the zoo, and she said LIONS! I asked her what else, and she said ELEPHANTS! I asked her what else, and she said FGLAMINKOS! I was like, huh? What?? It took me a minute of her saying it over and over, until I got that it was flamingos that she wanted to see. FUNNY! Here are a couple more pictures that I took:

She's an O-G-R-E

When Sassy is angry, she likes to imitate intimidating animals in order to "scare" us. Her usual in the dinosaur roar, claws up and everything. Lately, she has been hissing at us like a snake. It is so hard not to laugh because she is so funny, but she is trying to be so serious. I'd hate to laugh at her and make her feel bad, but I just can't help myself sometimes.

Well, last night, I about lost it. I was asking her not to do something in the car (probably spitting) and she yelled to me "I'm an Ogre" and made the funniest crumpled up face imaginable. Shrek is just about her favorite movie, so that is obviously where she got it from, but it is surreal to me that she is able to extrapolate the fact that ogres are scary and persist to be one in anger. My goodness, she is a smart cookie.

Unfortunately, Sassy had to take a time-out from daddy before bed last night for not brushing her teeth. I was in the basement with Little A, and I could hear all of the events unfold. When she was sitting in her room on time-out, once again, she was yelling "I'm and ogre, I'm and ogre daddy!" Man, it was funny. We'll have to see what other creatures she comes up with now!