Girls Night (...and Day)!

Yesterday, the girls and I had some alone time. Tyler made plans to go to Coasters straight after work. Originally, he explained Coasters to me as a bike club he found out about through work that he had been invited to try. After some research of my own, I found Coasters to be a group of guys who get together and ride their bikes for approximately 3 seconds in between all of the time that they spend eating food and drinking beer in a variety of establishments around town. Yeah.

But, seeing as I am leaving town for 2 nights sans kids, I didn't have much pull in this argument. So, it was me and the girlies all day yesterday. Sassy had preschool in the morning, and then we played outside for a while in the gorgeous weather. I whipped up some lunch, and then it was time for naps (for the girls)...

Once everyone woke up, we headed up to Wichita. I took the girls to a park we really like. Sassy had a lot of fun looking at the ducks. Little A loved the swing. It was the first time I have really heard her laugh laugh. She was cracking up!

We made a trip out west to Babies 'R' Us, and then split a "sandlich" at Cinnamon's, as Sassy likes to call it. We went home, had baths, snuggled, and read books until Daddy came home. I will miss those munchkins this weekend!

Well, I am off to my weekend getaway. I'll be back Monday!

The Cora Playground Project cont.

So, do you recall my original post about Cora Paige McClenahan? Then, remember I posted about The Cora Playground? Well, the Etsy movement for The Cora Playground is in full swing! I have been resisting the temptation to make daily purchases. You all know about my Etsy addiction.

Well, I thought I would highlight a couple of recent purchases, and remind you all to check out the listings. There are now over 650 listings with proceeds directed towards the playground. 650!!! Before I forget, here is the button. Just click on it to take you to all of the wonderful Etsy listings:

Here is an awesome art print I ordered and received (very quickly) from saratams:

Here are some great clippies for Little A this summer (hopefully) and a cute cupcake T-shirt and hair bow set for Sassy to wear on birthday number 3, both from simplychicbebe:

If you haven't already, go find something cute and help get this playground built!!

Pwoony...

"Look, Mama... I'm pwoony," Sassy tells me after her bath. "That's so vewy funny!"

Get Away... I mean getaway!

I am very much in need of a little getaway. There has been so much going on lately- the emotions have taken a toll. So, I am super excited to announce that I will be spending approximately 42 hours on my own this weekend. Well, not totally on my own. Lynzee is on board. But "on my own". No hubby. No Sassy. No Little A.

I am a bit apprehensive about leaving Little A. Not that Ty won't do a bang up job with the girlies. It's just that she is so young. Since we are fresh on the weaning trail (reluctantly), I just don't know. Having done all the mental homework, all the hemming and hawing, I came to the conclusion that this is just what I need. A couple of days to clear my mind and take some of the stress away. Ahh... The prospect is so enticing!

So, what will we be doing, you ask... Well, we will head to Lynzee's parents' house Friday night. Stay the night, maybe catch a movie. We both have appointments Saturday morning to get our hair done. Cut and highlights, here I come. Then, it's off to Kansas City. Saturday afternoon: mission "super duper secret I am so not telling". Then, Legends awaits us. We will have a nice dinner and catch the late show at Stanford & Sons. We will be staying in a hotel Saturday night, hopefully sleeping in, and then off for a little shopping Sunday before heading back home.

Be jealous. It's OK. I understand.

Turn and Face the Strain...

...Ch-Ch-Changes...

So, I'm pretty sure I inherited just the teeniest bit of my family's manic tendencies. What is mania? Well, it's excitement manifested by mental and physical hyperactivity, disorganization of behavior, and elevation of mood.

I've been known to do some pretty crazy things in the past, on a whim. This one time, I was getting ready for a girls night out and I couldn't get my hair to cooperate. So, what would any logical person do? Why, go to the nearest mall hair studio and have them lop it all off on the way out the door. Yes, I did.

Well, times, they are a-changin' around here. The conclusion to my breastfeeding fiasco: done-zo. Yeah, it sucks. But, I feel like a gave it a valiant try. Once the nurse practitioner heard of the occurrence at the pediatrician, she no longer felt comfortable handling our case and referred me off to lactation through the hospital. I spoke to one of their reps, and they pretty much gave me the laundry list of things to try that I had already been trying. I tried a couple more herbal supplements, to no avail. Little A was getting more and more restless. And, the irony- the one drug that is known to increase milk supply (Reglan)... I had an allergic reaction from it in the past and so no one was willing to prescribe it. Figures. Since all the professionals weren't really holding out any hope, I decided to succumb to the inevitable.

I'm okay, really. Making the decision was the hardest part for me. I felt like I was letting her down if I gave up. I didn't want to make the decision. I wanted no responsibility in it. But, such is life. I did what I thought was best. Now we look forward...

That's not to say that I haven't been experiencing any "mental hyperactivity" or "disorganization of behavior". It's making me a little crazy, all this change. So, since I already had an appointment scheduled to lop off my hair this upcoming weekend, I had to expend that energy and force somewhere else. So, I lopped of Sassy's hair instead.

Just kidding... well, sort of. Sassy did officially get her first haircut. And, it was sort of on a whim, although I have been contemplating it for some time now. Her hair was looking like a rat's nest no matter what I tried. It was time to get those ends evened up. So, the took off about an inch, and added some layers in the back. I DID NOT have them cut bangs, although it almost seems like we went for the sweeping bang look, just by chance. That's just how her hair grows.

Really, you can barely tell the difference. But, she is almost three and this was her FIRST haircut. So we made a big deal about it, pictures and all. She sat very still like such a big girl. She knew that if she was well-behaved, she would get to go to the store and pick out a new princess barbie. After all was said and done, she chose a Mulan barbie and was pleased as punch. Plus, they gave her a sucker. Double bonus. Here are some before and after shots. Dramatic difference, huh?

Before:

During:

After:

Ewww... gwoss!

That's what Sassy said to me as she ran towards me with this in her hand:


Then, she exclaimed, "I haf to put the squirm back in the garden"! And, so, she did!

And here is one of Daddy and Little A gardening...

Not Me!

Mondays sure do come around quick these days. I have been thoroughly enjoying the participation in "Not Me!" Mondays, so here is this weeks edition:

I did not wake up this morning to two very small, very cold feet digging into my back and reminisce about the days where small, cold feet didn't exist in my household. Nor did I mentally and then verbally plead with my Sassy to close her eyes and go back to sleep- even though it was already 7:55. As a final straw, I absolutely did not turn on Noggin and roll back over, knowing full-well that Sassy would be content for at least another 20 or so minutes through the magic of television.

Oh, and I was not a complete nightmare towards my husband last night. I have not been taking out my breastfeeding frustrations on him and making his life miserable. No, not in the least. Not me!

Speaking of my husband, I did not actually get mad at him for feeling sick yesterday. There are a few unwritten rules around here, and he knows that getting sick is out of the question. I just can't take it. I absolutely cannot find the strength to take care him when he is sick. So, when he told me he was nauseous, I SO did not tell him that if he was going to throw up, I didn't want to see it, hear it, smell it, or know about it in general. Not me! For the record, his nausea passed and he saw it fit to survive another day. Men.

Lastly, I have not been letting my frustration and depression over the baby feeding fiasco get to me or my diet. I have not been eating my way through this problem. I totally did not indulge in a horribly fattening dessert at Applebee's the other night, nor did I help myself to two oatmeal cookies and a slice of cheesecake at the Arbonne party I attended yesterday afternoon. Nope, not me!

Well, that's just great, thank you very much...

I am still crabby. And depressed. I feel like a bad mom. Here is the story in a nutshell:

So, Little A just turned 6 months old. We've been happily plugging away at babyhood. A few weeks ago, I noticed that Little A seems to be getting a bit fussier. And she slept... a lot. Then, I noticed that she was getting frustrated during her feedings. Instead of latching on like a champ, she would latch on and pull away, latch on and pull away... She would burrow into my breast and wiggle and kick. Also, she seemed to be thinning out a bit. Giant red flag!

Rewind about 2 years. To make a long story short, Sassy had some major feeding problems. She lost weight between 6 and 8 months and fell off of the growth chart. She was diagnosed with FTT. Two things happened- we had a pivotal parenting moment and eventually, arrived at the decision to stop breastfeeding. See, with FTT, many times the cause is neglectful parenting. Any good pediatrician should raise an eyebrow and really look into the situation. In our situation, it felt like the fingers were pointing before a good look was granted. There is nothing more heartbreaking than feeling like someone is questioning your parenting intentions. It was a horrible experience, as we were equally horrified by the fact that Sassy wasn't faring well. In the end, formula feeding seemed like our only option. After a while, things did resolve.

Fast forward to the present. After noticing these signs, I called my Dr. right away. I had no idea why my milk supply declined with Sassy. But I did tell myself that if this ever happened again, I would become more educated. I would seek out ways to fix the problem. I would figure it out this time. I saw a nurse practitioner at my OB's office Thursday. I explained all of my fears and told her what happened in the past with Sassy. She reassured me that we would get things figured out. She gave me a slew of things to do- drink 8+ glasses of water a day, eat at least 1800-2000 net calories, take fenugreek, pump for 20-30 minutes after each feeding, have a beer each night, and so on. I left her office feeling great. I would get this figured out. It was probably me overreacting, anyway.

Then, Friday, I took Little A in for her 6-month check. I was a little nervous, but I tried to calm myself down. If her weight was declining, which was probably not even going to be the case, then surely the pediatrician would appreciate the fact that I had been looking into ways to solve the problem. Surely that would be a positive thing. Things would be fine, I kept telling myself.

Little A weighed 12 lbs, 6 oz. Down three ounces from her 4-month check. My heart sank. I knew it. All these thoughts started running into my head. Why didn't I bring her in earlier? What could I have done differently? Now, in my head, I was working out some of the details. I am confident that this was not a gradual decline over the last 2 months. I am certain that this started happening in just the last couple of weeks. I saw the signs. That means she probably, in reality, lost more than 3 ounces since she likely had been gaining since 4 months.

The pediatrician was not easy on me. I left in tears. He did not give me a break. Now, I am not saying that he should be turning his cheek. No. I just feel that there was a lot of insensitivity to a very sensitive topic. Especially considering I am visibly emotional here. In short, he thinks I am crazy for giving the breastfeeding a further shot. I am starting to believe him. Exactly what I didn't want to happen. So, Little A goes back in 10 days for a weight check. All I have to say is that things better pick up in these 10 days. Seriously, or else. I don't even want to think about what else.

I am so pissed at my body. What is it? Like, hey it's February... time to stop working. Why is it that some people can choose to feed their kids until they are 5 and I can't even manage 6 months? It makes me so frustrated. Then I think of all the women who can't conceive, can't carry to term, etc. There is always a "why".

So here I am, completely torn. When this happened with Sassy, she had a gradual decline over 2 1/2 months, and at that point, we stopped breastfeeding. Still, my biggest regret was not trying more ways to increase my milk supply. Now, facing this again, it breaks my heart that Little A may be suffering. But, at the same time, I truly believe that breast milk is best for her. However, I feel like there is too much pressure on me to change something my body is doing. Something out of my control. It is driving me crazy. But, I'm not ready to stop. She's only 6 months. I thought 9 1/2 months with Sassy was too soon. This is even worse. Then, what does that really matter if she is not getting the nutrition that she needs. But, once I stop, it's over. There's no going back. I want desperately to make the right decision. I just don't know how long to give it.

I plan to call the nurse practitioner tomorrow morning and explain what happened with Little A's appointment. I will go from there. As of this very moment, I don't know how much longer I can do this. Something is just telling me to get that baby fed. Whatever way necessary. I am giving myself until that phone call to make the final decision. Wish me luck. I am so very upset. It may seem like an easy decision, one way or the other. But, until you have lived it, I don't think you can really understand. It's not so simple.

Happy Friday!

So, I am supposed to write about 3+ things that have made me happy this week. Well, I am completely bummed out right now (more info to come) so I hope this nifty little exercise will be just the dose of light I need to perk up a little bit!

1. I got 2 new purses! Of course, I cannot find a picture of either online (it's called shopping from last season's lines at TJ Maxx). The first is a The Sak crochet purse in Tangerine. I am hoping my Cora flower will look amazing on it once it arrives. The second is a Red by Marc Ecko large black tote with cream contrast stitching- it will be great for fall and winter! And, both for a fraction of the price one would have cost at a department store.

2. I ordered new prescription glasses and... sunglasses! I have super sensitive eyes, so I rarely wear my glasses out of the house because I almost always wear sunglasses. Well, I finally decided to go for some Rx shades, and I am so excited! Bonus- Target Vision just called and said both pairs were in... and I just ordered them on Wednesday! Yipee!

3. Tyler has been getting some serious overtime. Overtime = the opposite of being out of work. This = good news!

4. Little A cut her two bottom teeth this week! How is this good news, you ask? Well, she is getting to be such a big girl and I can't hardly believe it. She will look so cute once those pearly whites emerge a little bit more.

So, what things have made you happy this week?

6 months...

Little A, where do I even begin? You are getting to be such a big girl. You have smile that lights up the room, and just makes my day every time I see it. You have a cute little nose wrinkle just like your sister did, and it's to die for. You are a girl who knows what she wants... when she wants it. I like that in a girl. At the same time, you are just so sweet-natured and content. You are such a good baby and you have made our lives even more wonderful than they already were this past 6 months. Happy Birthday, Little A!

Sassy Says, Part III

She's been at it again, boy oh boy. Here are a few winners from the past few days:

Sassy and I have been having little potty power struggles the last few days. In short, I have to ask her 326 times to take her pull-up off in the morning and sit on the potty. The girl is just full of excuses. She has a million better things to do, a million other ideas... you name it. Once you finally get her to sit on the potty, it's like pulling teeth to get her to wash her hands. Crazy, I know. She is always telling me, "I don't haf to wash my hands"! I try to explain to her that we need to wash our hands every time we go potty, no matter what. It's the hygienic thing to do, after all. Well (gross statement to follow), now she tells me, "But I don't haf anything on them"! Yikes! How do I explain to her that if she actually has visible...er...material on her hands, then we need to be having an entirely different conversation. ***Throwing my hands in the air and harrumphing***

After she goes potty, she has the tendency to streak away like a screaming banshee... and I mean S-T-R-E-A-K... literally. Then, I have to proceed by chasing her around the house to coerce her to put her bottoms back on. God, I hope she doesn't pull this crap in preschool. Anyway, when I ask her to replace her panties, she typically looks at me like I have the intelligence of a single-celled organism and states, "I can't, mommy. They are inside and back," followed by the searing eye-roll that implies 'duh' and somehow stings so much more coming from your 2-year-old. Oh, by the way, "inside and back" is Sassy's way of saying inside out and backwards, in case you hadn't deduced...

Yesterday, Sassy was eating a snack. Now, I know better than to ask her to share her food. Does mommy share food with Sassy? All the time. Does Daddy share food with Sassy? Of course. Is Sassy typically willing to let us have a taste? Not so much. This hoarding of food concerns me on an entirely new level, but for now, I'll chalk it up to typical toddler behavior. So, anyway, yesterday Sassy asked me if I wanted a bite. "Sure," I replied, and Sassy gave me a cookie. Immediately, she asked if I wanted another, and I said, "OK," thoroughly impressed by her generosity at this point. Then, she tilts her little head and squints her eyes, and she tells me in her Sassy tone, "Finish what's in you mouth first, Mommy"! Can't argue with that...

This one has got to be my favorite. I was still not feeling 100% last night, so Ty took the girls to the grocery store with him. When they returned home, Sassy runs into my bedroom with a lemon under her chin, ready to show off her special "tweat". Weird, I know... Anyway, she points to her jacket and tells me, "This coat is so cute". "It is cute," I reply. "Everything you wear is cute. You are cute." "I'm not cute, mama," Sassy corrects me. "I'm vewy cute"! Here's to a healthy self-esteem!

Not Me!

Welcome to another "Not Me Monday"!

Well, let's see. I did not see that Target was having a huge 75% off sale on their "Global" section, and I did not proceed to drive to three different Targets to see what great deals I could find. At my final Target stop, I did not call Tyler at work on a Saturday that he was putting in overtime, and I did not beg him to meet me at the store so that I could buy 4 new dining room chairs that I absolutely could not fit in my car lest I leave my children at the store. Not I!

I totally did not speak with the pharmacist about taking TheraFlu while breastfeeding, and then completely ignore her advice and buy the stuff anyway (knowing darn well I wasn't going to pump 'a little' after taking the stuff), figuring that the risk was better than the consequences of my illness. Nope, not me.

While I was sick in bed on this weekend, I did not watch a string of 3 Lifetime Movie Network flicks and practically knock my husband out if he dared enter my bedroom and disturb my movie marathon. The nerve of some people.

Oh, and I am not letting Sassy indulge in the Handy Manny marathon today while I get caught up on my "correspondence". Nope, not me!

My Little Valentines

What is it with holidays when you have kids? Seriously. Christmas lasted about 6 weeks around here. Maybe even longer. Now an itsy, bitsy holiday like Valentine's Day has been drawn out over the span of a week and a half. I am so over it, and it's not even here yet.

On a lighter note, Sassy and Little A have thoroughly enjoyed all of the festivities. Sassy had her MDO party on Wednesday. She wore her new little "Bee Mine" shirt and brought Valentine's cards and hand stamps to share with her friends.

Wednesday evening, we had some errands to run, and the mall was on our list. We had a Build-A-Bear coupon randomly lying around burning a hole in my pocket, so we took Sassy in to choose an early little Valentine's gift from mom and dad. She chose a "kitty" and all was well and super fun!
Thursday, Sassy had a Valentine's pajama party at preschool. She brought in Valentine's cards and my new favorite kiddo treat- S'mores in a bag. These consist of a trail mix, per se, of Golden Grahams, mini marshmallows, and mini chocolate chips. Mmmm...

Last night, we still had to fill out Valentine's cards for the moms' group party today. Since I had to fill them out for Sassy and Little A, I decided it was due time for Sassy to help me out. She thought the fact that I granted her permission to use a red pen was fantastic!

I have been a bit under the weather, so I really was not in photog mode at the party this morning. I did, however, capture a couple cute ones before we left the house. Tonight, it's off to shop for a new computer so that I can enjoy surfing the net without losing power every 7.2 seconds! Hooray!

Now, a final picture to leave you with. Miss SASSY, doing her thang!

The Cora Playground

I'm sure you remember my post about sweet little Cora last week. Well, the family's church is doing a fundraiser to build a memorial playground in Cora's memory. The church is Grace Community Church in Newton, KS.

Anyway, we all know how much I ♥ Etsy. Well, there is an awesome fundraising effort starting up for several talented artists to designate certain products from their shops to honor Cora. Proceeds will go to her memorial playground effort. What an awesome thing!

I have already made two purchases, and I just can't wait to display these items proudly! First is an awesome messy flower pin from joyshope. I think I am going to try to find a cute, colorful spring purse to adhere it to! The next is a super cute hair clippy for Sassy from loveydoveyclips.

If you click on the pink button to the right, it will link you to all the fantastic, generous, talented sellers who are participating in this drive. Check them out!

Who knows, I may even get the creative juices flowing and take a stab at participating, myself!

The Madness Continues...

Remember my post about the green & pink madness that is Sassy's bedroom? Remember how I said that it had gone to far and I must stop for fear of apocalypse... retribution... bankruptcy? Well, to the birds, I say!

Here are the newest additions to Sassy's bedroom decor:

Remember that rain gear I referred to in this post? Yep... you guessed it... pink & green:

Oh, and Sassy Engineer reminded me just how much my Sassy needs this apple luggage here. So, who could blame me when, during our last trip to Wal-Mart, I just happened to stumble upon the very luggage described... ON CLEARANCE! Guess who is the owner of her very own apple luggage? Can I get an S-A-S-S-Y?

OK, I'm done. Really. I mean it. No more. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

Stay tuned...

Our Whirlwind Weekend (of last)...

OK, ready for a quick recap of this past weekend (seeing as it is Wednesday already)?!? Last Saturday, we had the first of several Valentine's Day parties at a friends house. The kids made little tin mailboxes and trade valentine's cards, and we had a potluck brunch. Here are some pics of my little rock stars:

Saturday afternoon, Sassy has a little birthday party to attend at a gymnastics factory. She had a brand new little yoga suit to wear, and she was super excited. After getting her there and watching her participate, I am a little concerned. In comparison to some of her friends, she looks as though she may have inherited our coordination and grace after all. I think it's time to start some dance and gymnastics... soon! She had a lot of fun, though!

Saturday night was the Daddy/Daughter Date Night through our rec center. Sassy dressed as Cinderella, and Tyler even wore his pink tie! They danced, spinned, and hopped, according to Sassy. The played freeze dance, raced, and played several other games for prizes. They also had princess cupcakes, which Sassy was very excited about. Here are a couple of pictures from that:

Sunday was relatively low-key. We just hung around the house, did some grocery shopping, and played outside. Here are just two more pictures of the girls to leave you with: