Second Birthday Photo Shoot: The Way It Really Went Down...

Don't let my Mom fool you. Having a successful photo shoot with me is nothing short of a miracle. So, it should come as no surprise to you that I wasn't going to let her have it easy on my birthday. I mean, I have a reputation to uphold here, folks.

So, she dressed me all cute from head to toe. I wasn't going to give a lot of resistance on that front. I've been eyeing that pink tutu in my closet for-ever, so when I saw it laying over my changing table, I knew it was best to keep my mouth shut. I even let her put the little pink rose in my hair, although it made me twitch a little to leave it in there. That's so not my style.

So, we started off outside. I let her get a useless shot:



Then, I turn on the distress signals. See, I did this during my invitation photo shoot, and it earned me fruit snacks as bribery. C'mon, I'm no dummy.



Mom runs inside to find fruit snacks. SCORE! But, wait... she returns and tells me there are no fruit snacks, and tries to give me Gerber puffs. HELLO... did anyone get the memo that I'm two today?



Mom says there may be something else inside. Envisioning something great, I decide to give her a little glimpse of what she may want, just so she doesn't go all white flag on me and throw int he towel on the entire operation. I rule this game.



Da-da-ta-da. A cookie. Now that's what I'm talkin' about!



Oh, how sugar makes me happy.



Oh, wait... I guess it's time I take a taste of this thing. I mean, what good is a cookie in hand if not to eat?



Oh, yeah. I know how to work her. This cookie is like a little piece of heaven, I reckon. Sure would be good with a nice tall one (milk, that is).



Just a minute, Mom. I'm still finishing this cookie you gave me. Nope, not ready to smile for you yet (ever)...



Boy, this cookie is good, but I'm gonna pay for it later...



I best get up and start moving around, lest I apply this cookie directly to my thighs...



And, I will, I promise. Just one more lick...



Now, Mom... you'll be just fine with me not actually making eye contact with you, right? I don't believe I read that as a requirement anywhere in our contract.



I think I'll just take a little stroll, help shape up the gastrocs on these stairs for a bit...



The uneven surface of the grass is ideal for shapely gams, you know?



Hey, bird... GET AWAY FROM MY COOKIE. Thanks.



Ooh, look at him go. I think I scared the woz out of him! Works every time. You really can never be too careful.



Bye, bye birdie.



A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Now, remind me again why I'm just holding this cookie?



Mmm... much better. Man, this thing is good. Mom, did you get your shot yet? I'm really ready for some milk and a nap.



Oooh, look... a leaf!



I wonder if this thing is edible?



Haha. Just jokin' ya, Mom. I kid, I kid. Now, there's your smile. I know that's what you're waiting for. It's been fun, Mom... but, I'm dunzo.



It's a good thing I'm so friggin' cute.